I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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