Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The air was thick with penises
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
