drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't deserve a penis
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
