How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
