i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
