eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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