don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
