To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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