Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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