..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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