my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
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Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
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Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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