I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
