whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
