If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude i'm inner monologue high
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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