bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
