dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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