I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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