I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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