no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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