i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Your penis caused this!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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