Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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