hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize