tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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