physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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