Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We had sex on a dog bed..
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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