Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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