can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think your dad took our porno
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
