Its about making memories worth repressing
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
