Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
