That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
