How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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