Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We are all done wearing pants today
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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