Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize