girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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