I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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