He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
