We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
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The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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