Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
