Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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