in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
