my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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