She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
