1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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