Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so let's talk penis.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just gift wrapped bread.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
