I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
