I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
