You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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