I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
organizing the empties. That sober.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
