i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
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