god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
