what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
True strength comes from lack of pants
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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