I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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