it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
