Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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