woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
