How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have already put on my inside pants.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
