C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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