words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i think i just lost a toe
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
