lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
PS: I just woke up from my shower
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
