i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
