yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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